Worst Dating Advice EVER Given By Parents
Would you accept and trust automotive buying advice from someone whose last car was purchased when Bill Clinton was President? Or sartorial advice from someone whose fashion sensibilities are firmly lodged in the era of parachute pants and popped collars?
How about dating advice from a person whose dating life was not just years but decades ago? That describes the problem of taking dating advice from your parents.
As if you didn't already know that Mom isn't the sharpest tack about the dating world or that Dad's notions are so outdated that they guarantee you will end up eating Ramen alone forever, here are the worst pieces of advice we have heard:
1. Careful of That Online Dating Thing!
For older people, even those quite secure with electronics, the notion of relying on an app or website to find the love of your life can be a bit too much. They might comfortably use the Internet to buy and sell stocks, keep track of their fitness or medical records, or share personal photos, but for them the Internet cannot replace good, old-fashioned human contact.
What they fail to remember is that dating sites, including top-runners like OK Cupid and Tinder, perform just one small task: sparking the initial contact. Everything after that--the heavy lifting, one might say--is all in your hands. An OK Cupid meet is no different from seeing an attractive girl in the vegetable section and asking about eggplants.
2. Why Buy the Milk When You Can Get the Milk For Free?
Before the sexual revolution, and even for years afterward, the notion of sex as a commodity persisted. Women (mainly) exhibited their charms as a lure to draw in men. Once sufficiently snared, men would presumably hang in there for months, even years, until marriage. Once married, men could claim their reward: sex.
While in some cultures this model still applies, there has been a greater advancement in the notion that women own their own bodies and can use them as they please. The anti slut-shaming movement seeks nothing more than to give women the opportunity to create a sexual life that men have always enjoyed, and all without retribution.
So, it is perfectly fine to "give the milk away for free." You are not a grocery store.
3. Just Give Him/Her a Chance
No. Categorically not. This plot device of rom coms is not the way life really works.
In those straight-to-Netflix movies, Slovenly Girl cute-meets Tightly-Wound Guy. Her relaxed attitude toward hygiene drives him crazy. His prissy attitude about bare feet on his obsessively clean dashboard sends her over the top.
But they see past these trivial matters when they realize they are soul mates.
Guess what? You end up cycling back to those trivial matters. Humans are both spiritual and material. Even after you get that spiritual thing hammered down, you still must live in this material world of body odors, messy apartments, and unpaid bills.
We depend on instincts to guide us safely through this world, whether walking into the woods or into the dating world. The "give him or her a chance" crowd is saying, in effect, that you should ignore your instincts.
Whatever you see or sense on the first date will only magnify as time goes by.. Trust your instincts. Don't "see it through" on the oft chance that your date was so rude to the wait staff because he had a hunger headache, or that your date texted you 14 times within 24 hours because you were so irresistible. Chances are that these little peeks into your date's personality traits are an opportunity for advance, and cut your losses.
Now, on the other hand-- if you like everything about your date, but they're missing a few of the traits you thought were essential to your wish list, giving a chance may indeed pay off. Sometimes it takes a while to see the whole picture.