We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

Words Not To Use In Your Dating Profile

We spend a lot of time analyzing and re-writing online dating profiles.  We could write an entire dictionary of words that you should not use in your profile, but we'll limit them to this short list:

  1. LOL (Reason:  Are you sixteen?  Are you texting?  No?  Don't use this).
  2. in' (Reason:  When used as the last two letters of a word.  As in rockin' or bitchin'.  Take off the acid-washed jeans; it's no longer 1986).
  3. u (Reason:  Two extra keystrokes for a "y" and a "u," and you've got "you."  Simple.)
  4. kitties (Reason:  It's great to be a cat fancier, but don't use this horrifyingly goofy nickname in a dating profile. Especially if you are a male. Honest.. we've seen this!)
  5. passport (Reason:  We've brought this up before as one of the most hackneyed ways to express that that you like to travel ("The one thing I can't do without:  my passport").  Yawn. Just say it.)
  6. Mr./Ms./Miss Right (Reason:  Did you need to clarify that you're not looking for Mr. Wrong?)
  7. knight... (Reason:  You know the rest.  And because you know the rest, that's reason enough not to use this overused phrase).
  8. substance-abuser, sex-maniac, axe-murderer, etc. (Reason:  Stating that you're looking for someone who is not one of these things will not filter them out, and may only serve to scare away other prospects.  Plus, it's pretty much a given that you're not looking for this.)
  9. sarcastic
  10. hot (Reason:  Your picture should speak volumes for you. Or if you are looking for a "hottie", this makes you sound 16. See #1.)
  11. one night stand (Reason:  Again, falls into the category of "Why mention the obvious?"  Indexing all the things you don't want can get tedious.  Concentrate more on what you do want.).
  12. bacon  (Reason:  Or "red wine" or "chocolate."  Come on, guys.  Who, except vegetarians, doesn't love all these things?  Find a truly off-beat or at least less obvious thing.  Like squid doughnuts.)
  13. attractive (Reason:  Most overused word in dating profiles, and basically can mean either butt ugly, or modest.)
  14. marriage (Reason:  Unless you're on eHarmony, which aims for nothing less than getting people married, drop this word.  Right now, you're having fun and see what's out there).
  15. laid back (Reason:  Laid back gives off whiffs of couch potato status.)
  16. cuddle (Reason: even if you like this activity, it just sounds...ridiculous in writing. Snuggle is only incrementally better. And spooning? Oh no you didn't...)
  17. well-hung (Reason: Unless you're on Adult Friend-finder, sexual specifics, while interesting in real life, have no place on your profile )
  18. no-drama (Reason: Overused. Try: If you are in constant crisis, we may not be the best match.)
  19. I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this (Reason: Own it! You're on a dating website like the rest of us! If you think of yourself as a loser, you're insulting the rest of us too)
  20. There, their, then, than, your, you're (Reason: Those of us who are good spellers can't STAND to see these common spelling mistakes. Even if you are a bright and well spoken person, these mixups make you look ignorant. Spell-check! Online dictionary! Ask a friend!)
  21. divorce:  So you were divorced?  Your profile may already indicate this in the side information section.  Words like "divorce," while a fact of life, still carry negative connotations.  Why not keep your profile lively and happy?

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