Depending on the decade you were born, or what ideas you may have been fed about gender roles, you may have some pretty outdated or confused thoughts about whether it's okay to be the one to make the first contact! We are here to gently whisper in your ear, "NONSENSE!"
Should Women Make the First Move?
That depends on if you have an extra year to allow that adorable or perfect-for-you guy on Match.com, Jdate.com, OKCupid, HowAboutWe, or even Facebook, to weed through the 8 gazillion other hot perfect-for-him female profiles to find yours! But by then, he's going to be snatched up by some forward thinking lady, so forget about being a shrinking violet and put your thinking cap on.
Men LOVE it when you write to them first! Here's why:
- Think how you feel when you get a message in your dating in-box. There's that small ping of excitement, and a sense of relief that maybe, just maybe, this guy is someone who can rock your world...or at least have an enjoyable date with!
- You've made his life easier, making it easy for him to find you in the sea of possibilities.
- A confident, attractive, and interesting woman took the initiative to find what she wants. That's a turn-on!
Dare To Be Different!
Make your secret weapon a quick and interesting first note to him that doesn't blend in with the all the other messages he may have received, doesn't sound desperate, and captures his interest.
Hint: Find something in his profile that isn't necessarily the thing that other women are going to focus on. Try to add some humor or some wit. Example:
I'm so glad I stumbled across your profile, since I just moved to the Fremont neighborhood myself and I can't find a good pizza joint to save my life!! Make you a deal-- you tell me where to get a decent slice in this town, and I'll promise to let you hear me say "Cah" in my Boston accent. Hope to hear from you~
You'll notice that I did not comment on how gorgeous his green eyes were, or about how we both liked The Simpsons, or that he seems like a nice or funny guy. I let my oddball comment speak for itself, hopefully showing that I can be witty and appreciate his humor, instead of telling him that I think he's funny. I have to assume that the other 8 cute women who write him this week will fawn all over him, and that my message may spark his interest. My good pictures, sassy profile, and strong sense of self will hopefully capture his interest as well.