6 Things a $900/Hour Escort Can Tell You About Dating and Love
If you've been around the block a few times, you'll know that it is unwise to take advice on love and dating from a 24 year-old. Unless that 24 year-old has experienced a few things outside of the norm.
A recent Medium article from high-priced escort Svetlana Z (could it be any other name?) falls into a literary sub-category you may already know: it depressingly strips away artifice from the dance of love and attraction and says, in a rather self-congratulatory way, "I know the inner workings of this thing, and it's ugly and you're all just stupid sheep for believing otherwise." And, as everyone's favorite escort, Holly Golightly, would say, "Men are rats."
1. It's Always a Business Arrangement
His wife won’t let him have his late-night bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream anymore and she nags him about the Sunday afternoons he spends watching golf on television. I frown.
Svetlana's core message is that sex is a negotiation, a business arrangement. Love, friendship, dating, companionship--all of that works the same way. I get something from you, you get something from me. We are both satisfied by the arrangement.
There is no such thing as unconditional love; it's all conditional.
Svetlana listens to complaints about mint chocolate-chip ice cream because she is paid to do so, the condition being the $900 sitting in an envelope on the nightstand.
Give and take. What are you bringing into this arrangement?
2. Spend Money On This Venture To See Returns
I paid professional photographers $1,500 to shoot my pictures. I considered those investments in myself. I spent $50 a day on Eros so I could be listed in the “What’s New” section... The girls who would only spend the basic $400 a month, they’d only get one email in two weeks. They’d be sitting at home, sucking their fingers.
A typical thought-process for, let's say a guy, is this:
I want to spend as little as possible on this dating thing, preferably $0.00. So, let's start with all of the free dating sites. I'll take selfies in the bathroom mirror I'll wear my old sweatshirt. I'll get my hair cut at Supercuts.
It is deceptive, a total red-herring, for a guy to believe that spending big money on a date will make the woman attracted to him. Instead, the money is better spent on improving oneself (next section) and on this business venture called online dating.
Here's one example. Why do lots of people fork over hard, cold cash for Match.com? For the money spent, Match.com is a better organized and moderated environment than is a free site like Plenty of Fish. If Match.com is like the relatively orderly singles bar on main street, Plenty of Fish is the skanky beer joint that gets raided by the police once a month. Spending money often brings better rewards.
3. Take Top Care Of Yourself
I’m a vegetarian and I have a personal trainer. I got manicures and pedicures at least twice a week, always red, and always showed up in expensive lingerie and thigh-high stockings. Every time I met a client it was a performance, so I prepared.
How much more can we stress this? If you're fat-skinny, eat right and work out. If you're obese, lose weight. If you have nasty toenails that would make Shrek gasp in horror, get a pedi. If you have awful breath, seek remedies.
"Svetlana" is a reasonably attractive woman who could have done nothing and still attracted clients. Yet she went the extra step and was able to attract a better class of men, at least financially speaking. If you go the extra step, you too will attract a better class of men or women.
4. Your Online Dating Profile Is an Ad For Yourself, So Make It a Good One
I paid someone to write my ad copy.
Brilliant move. Svetlana, not being a native English speaker, knew that to appeal to her customer base of North American men, she had to have a good message. In the same sense, you do not innately know how to write an effective dating site profile; this is an acquired skill.
Svetlana crafted her profile on the "escort dating" sites with utter precision. Her profile is a close corollary to your own online dating site profile on OK Cupid, eHarmony, or Plenty of Fish.
5. Project an Image of Fun, Carelessness, Exoticism
Clients knew me as Angelina or Anna. Angelina was “sweet, intelligent, fun and playful… a devoted pleasure seeker who takes enjoying life very seriously indeed.” Anna was more shy, a “European companion who adores luxury travel… often passionate, sometimes hilarious but rarely forgettable.”
This is the secret sauce that most people writing dating profiles forget. Sure, some men are looking for a sturdy but dull hausfrau to cook and clean. And some women are looking for that boring, dependable provider.
But most people are looking for romance. And romance means playfulness, humor, fun, impulsiveness, new experiences, and sensual pleasures ("sensual" as in, things that delight the senses--food, music, visual delights, etc.).
6. Work Compensates For Areas Where You're Lacking
But there are lots of young, pretty girls in my business. What got me to the top — and what kept me there — was my work ethic and attention to detail.
In the Medium article, there are plenty of pictures of "Svetlana." And while she is attractive, she is no stunner. By working extra-hard at this venture, she was able to push above the hordes of other women who desired the same goal.
Unless the gene pool favored you with amazing looks or you're dripping with money, you exist on a relatively level playing field with everyone else. Extra effort is what will propel you past the ranks of the unnoticed "others" cluttering the dating field.