Guys, you've been dating her for awhile and things are going along great. Or are they? Learn the top seven things we men do to sabotage relationships, even if we have perfectly good intentions:
7. You Treat Her Like a Guy-Friend
A girl isn't a guy. When you start taking her to "the game" in lieu of a nice dinner or to the car show instead of that indie movie she's always wanted to see, then you've officially started treating her like a guy. She's not; she's a girl. Treat her like one.
6. You Resist Attempts to Communicate
Heard this one before? We need say no more.
5. You Don't Spend Real Time With Her
In the 1970s, it became fashionable for workaholic parents to say, "I may not put in much time with my kids, but I put in...quality time." This notion of "quality time" became a laughable excuse for not spending actual time with the child.
Highly concentrated brief activities--the club, the amazing concert, the mega-expensive dinner--are fun. And they're an integral part of maintaining a healthy relationship (see "You Don't Take Her Out," below). Yet you need to spend long periods to really get to know a person, and for her to know you. Take a road trip, or plan a surprise afternoon that involves relaxing activities where you can connect.
4. You Don't Take Her Out on Dates Anymore
Remember the first few dates? These were pick-her-up-at-the-door dates.
Now you're more familiar with each other and you may think that a "date" is too formal. It's not. Every so often, a girl still needs to be asked out, taken out, and treated special.
3. You Bend Too Much in Her Direction
She fell for you, not a flimsy carbon copy of herself. Ladies aren't interested in guys who bend like willows in the wind. Be interested in a variety of different things and maintain those interests. When you take on too many of her interests, you're needy. No one likes that.
2. You're Not Flexible Enough
By the same token, you need to show genuine interest in her interests. Sometimes this means participating in a few of them, too: getting to know her friends; accompanying her to her favorite stores; going to see a play, even if you don't like live theater, going to her yoga class, or doing some gardening and lawn work together. Besides strengthening your bond, you may learn a few things.
1. You Think She's Merely an Off-Shoot of You
Since when did you become Siamese twins? After they've been dating for awhile, lots of guys tend to forget that their girl is a separate person with her own individual thoughts and interests. It's dangerous to presume you know what your girlfriend is thinking or feeling.