So, we labored over our other article about examples of great lines in dating profiles. That's because so many dating profiles suck bad; we really had to dig. But bad lines? Hah! They practically fell in our laps. Avoid the following lines, most of which come from OKCupid, like the plague.
Six Things I Can't Do Without: Dental Floss
We've seen the "dental floss" answer a million times. It's an attempt at humor. Or something.
On a Typical Friday Night I Am: Salsa Dancing
This line is the male Guru's favorite bad line. It oozes like slime in every bad dating profile. It fails on many levels. It fails because every woman says this in her profile. It fails because it's a barefaced attempt to make readers think that she's tripping the light fantastic on Fridays instead of watching Glee on Hulu. It fails because it represents a breakdown of logic: if she's so popular as to be dancing every weekend, why is she on an online dating site? We could go on.
The Most Private Thing I Am Willing to Admit: then it wouldn't be private, would it?
Clever. Real clever. Thank you for pointing out this paradox.
Six Things I Can't Do Without: My Passport
Nothing inherently bad about this response except that it's so overused. Don't use it.
On the Playa
Caption to so many photographs. We get it. You "work hard and play hard," right? Bespectacled accountant in your little hometown, subversive desert goddess at Burning Man. You're special.
I don't spend a lot of time here and don't have time to return messages, so be forewarned.
You're playing the availability game: you've created an aura of false unavailability, thus you are more desired. Right, is that it? 'Cause, you know, we just saw under "Last Online" that you logged on this morning at 10:35. We're guessing you do this three or four times a day.
Message Me If: You Want to Meet Me
Or: "My profile intrigues you." A self-evident answer. Why even say it? Think of something better or say nothing at all.
I'm seeing someone now! Unavailable, guys!
And...your profile is still active. And...the little blue indicator on your photo says that you are ONLINE NOW. Pray tell, why? Does your new boyfriend know about this?