We know, we know...it isn't professional for us to break out in guffaws and giggles when we see issues with profile pics and narratives. But sometimes we just can't believe what we are seeing, and how often we see the same mistakes.
The Dating Gurus understand the temptation to attract men based on your obvious physical attributes. We are the first to admit that even the most witty, intelligent and well thought out profile narratives will not win over your dating audience if your pictures are bad.
However, when your stated goals (seeking a man for a long-term relationship or marriage) don't match your visuals (semi-nude partying pics), it gets confusing for a guy! All of us scan pics first, and then skim profile narratives, and then read more in-depth if we like what we see.
Case in point, Lattemomma (all names are changed), a 27 year old well endowed mother of two has a byline on PlentyofFish, screaming, "Sick of wasting time and energy!" In addition to this obviously negative introduction, lovely Lattemomma posts an extremely revealing where she is hanging out of her t-shirt, as well as posing in a teeny-weeny bikini. She also has 6 additional headshots, but who is looking at those now?
The Dating Gurus by no means wish to dissuade Lattemomma from showing her shape and hotness, but subtlety works wonders without giving the impression that you are inviting heavy drinking and grabbing. Try using 2 headshots and a full body shot in a great form fitting Tshirt or dress that leaves something to the imagination.
What are your intentions?
If Latte was looking for short-term fun, this would do the trick. However, in her profile, Latte describes herself as marriage minded, and then chastises the men who are responding to her attention grabbing pictures:
|"I have to voice some frustrations about some of these "fish" on here. First and foremost, I am shocked at how many DO NOT want anything serious. Although, I value honesty but aren't there other sites for some of these crazy inquires and messages I'm getting? It's baffling to me especially when they say they want to get to know me. No you don't. My profile says wants to find someone to marry, however, that absolutely doesn't mean I want to rush things. FYI, my standards are high and tolerance for bs is very low. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than to be in a fake relationship and not treated with respect and like a lady. The half naked pictures throw me for a loop too! Don't get me wrong, some of you are very nice to look at...but I keep it moving at that point even if it says you're seeking a relationship. I dunno, call me old fashioned I guess.Unfortunately, I MUST make these announcements...ridiculous I need to but completely necessary. I have to say if you can't address me like a lady and show respect, I'm definitely not responding. Also, if you don't give it any thought...I'm probably not responding either. I'll surely toss your message in the trash for making sexual innuendos/remarks to me or better yet a damn picture. What in the world do some of you wake up and eat to be this dumb to think those things are okay? You can call me a B* but in reality I'm a woman who knows what I want and how I deserve to be treated (and I will not tolerate anything other than that)! :)"About MeI travel often to the ____ area a good bit for work lately.. I'm a single mother of two wonderful little girls, of whom are my world! I have a crazy puppy that my eldest conned me into getting but she is awesome too! Ha. I've enjoyed the medical field and used to volunteer as an EMT-B. I've dabbled a little in acting, modeling and enjoy it very much. I'm more of a home body because I can't stand the fake stuff and drama from going out. I work nights but only 2-4 nights a week, I try to stay home with my family as much as possible. I love coffee, great wine, delicious non-greasy food, dancing, running around in sweats and tank around my house. I love watching movies or curling up with a book. I enjoy music of all genres, it relaxes me! I'm a great friend and mother. I'd do anything for my kids and true close friends especially considering I have the biggest heart ever. However, I will handle business and have no problem voicing my opinion when I'm/my kids/my loved ones are wronged or hurt. I value honesty and sincerity (Point blank, PERIOD)|
Your profile name and headline should never be negative. Instead, Latte should replace her existing byline with something less defensive like, "Not your ordinary girl", and go on to describe herself in the following ways:
Dating Guru's Re-Write:
|As much as I love to dance and get together with friends for some wine or coffee, I tend to stay away from the whole club scene, since I'd rather get to know a guy in a place we could actually hear each other, and have a conversation. I'm also a mom to two wonderful little girls, so I balance things with working a couple of nights per week. This gives me plenty of time to enjoy being with my loved ones and training a crazy new puppy my eldest conned me into getting! I enjoy running and working out, listening to music and love curling up with a good book. I recently finished __________, and love watching movies. Some recent favorite is _________.I've done a little dabbling with modeling and acting, have an interest in the medical field, and used to volunteer as an EMT assistant.I'm a loyal and fierce friend with a big heart, and will have your back when needed. In return, I appreciate the same loyalty, and it should go without saying that trust is a huge deal for me, as I'm sure it is for you.I'm looking for a serious long term relationship, leading eventually to marriage. This doesn't mean that I'm ready to leap into marriage, and want to enjoy dating and getting to know you. Please note that I'm not looking for a quick hook-up, so please don't send me quick one-line messages or send me half-naked pics. I promise you they will be deleted and I won't respond to your message.If all this is appealing to you, and you think you'd like to have a conversation, drop me a line.|