TDG-Close.jpg

Hi.

We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

Men!  About Those Dating Profile Pictures...

Men! About Those Dating Profile Pictures...

 The Number One Offender in Male Profile Pics

Before we say anything else, we must implore you:  Do not even consider standing shirtless in front of your bathroom mirror taking a selfie. 

While you might imagine that the ladies are secretly hoping to come across a rare bathroom selfie, with your baseball cap tilting just-so, boxers oh-so-casually peeking out from your tanned buff bod, while making the gangsta face, let us be the ones to break it to you that you are wrong. Dead wrong. This will not make you win the girl. Well, at least not the girl you are hoping to meet, we're guessing. 

However, if you must take it off, at least make it a beach photo-- a setting where you are supposed to be shirtless. Less obvious and more modest while still getting the message across about your washboard abs.

2. Keep your photos recent.

How would you like to go out with a girl who represented herself as a certain age, and showed up bearing little resemblance to the person in the profile photos? Using an older picture of yourself is most assuredly going to backfire. Within 5 seconds of meeting you, your date is going to feel lied to and pissed off.

Case In Point: When I, the female dating guru, was single, and new to online dating, I was attracted to a well-written profile and the 6 pictures that Casey, a retired Air Force pilot posted on Plenty of Fish (Needless to say, it was the beginning of the end of my time on POF). After a few phone calls, we arranged to meet at a local watering hole. Our guru almost pitched backwards off the bar stool when a much older version of Casey walked in and introduced himself. No surprise that Casey ended up having other integrity issues as well. Date over.

 3. No Photos of You With Your Ex or with Someone's Arm Hanging Over Your Shoulder.

Pinterest dude

Pinterest dude

Your potential dates can only assume that the disembodied arm hanging over your shoulder in your profile pic is your ex-girlfriend or wife.

Even if it's your sister.

Even worse are the pics of you out clubbing with girls wrapped around you. While you might be including this pic so we can all see how desirable you are, it's actually rather rude.  We want to picture ourselves with you, without having to do a mental cut-n-paste.

 4. Truth in Pictures (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)

All of us have things that we wish were different about ourselves.. Still, taking all of your profile pictures with a baseball cap to hide baldness, or taking only head shots if you're vertically challenged or heavy may temporarily work, but your date is no dummy.

Psst! She will see the reality of your perceived shortcomings as soon as you meet.

Do yourself a favor, and show at least one pic of you with whatever it is you are uncomfortable with.

Lots of women find baldness sexy, and there are women out there who may be a bit out of shape themselves and don't need you to be an Adonis.

For The Shorter Guys 

Image from The Sequential Crush

Image from The Sequential Crush

While it is true that man shorter men do have a tougher time meeting woman online, there are definitely women out there who respond to a confident approach. List your real height and prepare to be extra pro-active in your search for women, since their own search parameters may not include your height. Lots of ladies make exceptions for an amazing guy. If tempted to s-trrrretch the truth, see #4 above. The Truth Will Out when you do meet in person, whether it's height, weight, or your arms covered with tattoos. 

How To Take A Break From Online Dating, For Reals

How To Take A Break From Online Dating, For Reals