We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

Is He Interested In Me?

LEE:  We've already covered the topic of "Is she interested in me?" and a lively discussion it was.  But here's one I can speak to with greater authority:  how can a guy tell if a girl is interested in him? Is it true that, prior to publication of He's Just Not That Into You in 2004, all women would try to interpret a man's desultory, tepid efforts in "chasing her" to mean that he actually liked her? He's Just Not... was treated as a kind of watershed moment in the history of gender relations:  you're wearing your Manolo Blahniks (as women apparently did back then), you've got your Take Me Now perfume, you invite him up...but he says he can't because he's got a meeting the next morning. Say, wha?

Is he into me?  Well, quite obviously not.  But if you need a book to tell you that, fine.  I will admit that my statement does have a few caveats, but I'll let Sharon, our female guru get a word in edgewise...


Yeah, Lee, I'd say he just wasn't that into you! Those size 12 Blahnik slip-ons just didn't do you justice!

One thing that females tend to underestimate as a tool to gauge male interest is body language. Just like women are adept at subconsciously communicating through our body language (think: hair twirling, eyes widening, neck exposure, holding eye contact for at least 3 seconds, body facing the guy, etc), men also have their own version.

Consider these body language clues:

1.  He'll stand directly in front of you to show full attention and lean forward to get closer.  He may posture by standing with his hands on his hips,  which subconsciously point to his torso, the center of masculinity. This position accentuates his physical size and suggests confidence.

2. If he's raising or lifting his eyebrows when he's looking at you or talking to you, this results in allowing more light to reflect off their surface, making them look brighter, larger and inviting. Think about this also in terms of interest: when we're interested or stimulated by something, our eyebrows often raise, as opposed to pondering or being dis-satisfied, when our brows furrow downwards.

3. He'll run his fingers through his hair. Depending on how he wears his hair, he'll be adjusting or fiddling with it, subconsciously trying to groom for you.

4. When you're talking to him, does he look at your lips? His lips might be slightly parted, too.

5. He'll guide you through the room by touching you. Does he place his hand on the small of your back, or on your elbow, as he moves you through the crowd, or as you enter or exit a restaurant? This is a way of letting you know you're being taken care of. Think about it: if he was simply being polite, an "After you..." or hand gesture would suffice.

6. He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you. Is he  stroking his cheek with the back of his fingers, rubbing his chin, or touching his lips or ears?  This self-touch indicates attraction as his skin becomes increasingly sensitive  and pleasurable as he becomes stimulated by your presence.

7. Is he looking intently at you, and showing you he's listening, or is he busy looking out over your shoulder?

8. Is he leaning towards you? He may want to get closer to you, and is showing you his intention. Leaning back, but with intense eye contact can be a sign of seduction as well. If he knows you a bit, he may be touch you when he's laughing at something you said.

Body language is just one way to figure out if he's interested in you.