We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

Increase Sexual Market Value and Get More Dates

Increase Sexual Market Value and Get More Dates

Dating is sex. Unless you are trolling sites like or, instead of conventional sites like OKCupid, your dating career is inextricably connected to s-e-x.  Maybe sweaty couplings aren't your primary focus--or, ahem, maybe they are--but sex is still the hidden driver behind the business of getting men and women, women and women, and men and men together.

SMV and You

Sexual market value, or SMV, is a huge determiner in the partner you choose.  Many other factors can be conveniently ignored--often to your detriment--if the other person's SMV is high enough.

For instance, if a woman's sexual market value is high enough, men will devalue other aspects of the woman.

The TV sitcom version of SMV--the woman, pre-date, taking herself from bespectacled librarian to tight-skirted vamp--is easiest to understand, but it goes deeper and we will explore this later.

SMV Takes Front-Row Seat Over Good Things

This does have its dark side.  If those other, non-sexual aspects are positive--sparkling personality, intellect, wit--they are still in danger of getting devalued in relation to SMV.  Perhaps you've seen this before?  Two scenarios from both sides of the gender fence:

  • Women:  Have you ever been passed over by a guy you like because the guy is drawn to a hot, sexy but personality-free and perhaps bitchy woman?  Even though you're smarter, more fun, and shall we say, better-matched with the guy in terms of a long-term relationship?  Have you ever felt that burn in your heart when this happens?
  • Men:  Ah, yes, men know this scenario well.  You like the woman; you get along great.  You do things for her.  When she was sick, you brought over chicken noodle soup, Kleenex, and pharmaceuticals.  You feel like you're in.  Then, the moment she gets well, she's straddling the local bad boy's motorcycle, leaving you to clean up the Kleenex and soup bowls.

So, your good side potentially can get buried and lost under this whole sex thing.  But this has its bright side.

SMV as Whitewash

Conversely, if you have some not-so-savory points that you wish to devalue, you can submerge them to some degree by increasing your sexual market value.

The bad boy does this all the time--he's done this since time immemorial, in fact--by devaluing the dark parts of his personality such as a propensity for violence against women, substance abuse, and lack of ambition in relation to his extremely high sexual market value.  Women, if they want that thug badly enough, will conveniently ignore the fact that this happens to be a conjugal visit on Death Row.  Yes, the pull is that strong.

Men hook up with beautiful, hot women all the time, tolerating her cruelty, self-centeredness, profligacy, and in general, her dead lifeless Satanic soul.  There's a reason they call them man-killers.

What This Means To You

While you may not be prepared to kill 15 women just so you can get that endless stream of Death Row marriage proposals from hot women, the lessons are the same and do translate to your gentler, nicer self:

  1. SMV Above All:  In terms of your online dating profile and initial dates, you must double down on increasing your sexual market value.  We profiled this before in the instance of a quite plain woman who ramped up her sexual market value to such a high level that now she receives more OK Cupid messages than anyone else.
  2. Keep It Real:  Efforts at increasing SMV must be commensurate with your personality and must be sustainable.  So, the solitary geek cannot pretend to be the fashion-victim, club-loving stud.  If you do manage to pull this off, the fiction will collapse under its own weight fairly quickly.  Recasting your efforts at increasing SMV as "self-improvement" makes this exercise more socially palatable.
  3. Think Sustainability:  After the initial few dates, SMV's importance slightly wanes in relation to other aspects of your personality.  As mentioned before, this is a positive thing if you have a lot of good things about you.  Those good things will begin to shine more.
  4. Work On Deep SMV:  Your SMV should be within you; it should reside at the core of your being.  SMV is not a earring and a tight shirt showing off your gym-built muscles.





He Says He Doesn't Love You.  Now What Do You Do?

He Says He Doesn't Love You. Now What Do You Do?

The Beauty and the Troll:  Dating, Sexual Commerce, and Sexual Market Value

The Beauty and the Troll: Dating, Sexual Commerce, and Sexual Market Value