We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

First Date: Turn-Offs For Ladies (Guys, this is for YOU!)

No, we did not take a poll, at least not an official poll. But Sharon, the female counterpart of The Dating Gurus spoke to many of her single or formerly single girlfriends to bring you our top turn-offs for that first meet-up, regardless whether it's a first online date, or someone you met out in the real world.

1. Show up late. Don't call.

It's awkward enough sitting at a table or a bar somewhere, or waiting at the door of a bookshop for someone while trying the utmost to appear nonchalant. (Yes... I'm just sitting here alone, trying not to finish my second cappuccino before my ASSHAT date decides to show up...).  So, if you have her number, send her a text or better yet, a quick call to let her know your gas cap wouldn't close and you're stuck at the Arco. Best advice? Plan to show up 10-15 minutes earlier than the appointed time, to make sure you are settled and have secured a spot for the two of you.  To boil it down, don't show up late for a date, unless absolutely necessary.

2. Start out your conversation by talking about how much internet dating sucks.

Tell her about all of your bad dates. And how no one ever seems to follow-up with you. Rut-roh.

3. Don't listen to your date's answers when you ask her a question. Ask her so that you can simply wait for your turn to talk.

Guys, we know most of you are good listeners. Right? But this is a pet peeve for many of us. If you ask us a question, please pay attention to our words, and.. try to keep your attention focused on our faces instead of the people next to us, or the sports TV over the bar. We notice these things. Eye contact, gentlemen.

4. Keep checking your cell phone for texts, or to see your latest tweets or emails. Or better yet, answer your phone in the middle of our first date.

Put that damn device away for the hour we are together for the first time. If you get a  call, and you MUST answer your phone (and we don't think you must), excuse yourself, and return your call from the restroom or outside.

5. Don't offer to buy us a beverage.

Whether chivalry is dead is besides the point. We buy our girlfriends  drinks, for crying out loud, because it's kind and makes them feel good. Spring for a drink or for the refill if you missed the first opportunity. If you don't, we wonder if you're really that broke that you can't buy a cup of java, or if you're really that thoughtless.

6.  Don't look in the mirror. Reek of aftershave or cologne. Wear your gym attire to meet us.

Or your sweatsuit, white sneakers, clothing covered with pet hair or stains, or have something green and unidentifiable between your front teeth.

Please! Please! Give yourself the once-over and put on something clean, and at least newer than 5 yrs old, and keep the bling to a minimum.

7.  Talk about your ex's.

No, really, we love that. And if that isn't enough, be sure to tell us about your financial problems. TMI!

8. Talk about sex.

Innuendos, jokes, suggestions about what you'd like to see us wearing or doing, asking us what turns us on, or outright offers. You wouldn't think we'd have to bring up something that should be so obviously off-limits, but all of us have had first or second dates where the S word was brought up.

9. Talk endlessly about your job.

10. Agree with everything we say.

Yes, we are looking for compatible, but we also are looking for a man who has strong interests and his own opinions.

11. Over-complement us.

The first one or two complements are great. If you continue with too many it just makes us wonder about your sincerity. It also breaks up the flow of conversation and can start to feel a little...creepy.

12. Come on too strong or move too quickly.

Guys, women prefer a man who knows when to play it cool. Just relax and let things happen. We get uncomfortable when you tell us things like you've been waiting all your life to meet someone like us, and that your mother and sisters are going to love us too.  Give us a little bit of a challenge, and let us decide for ourselves.

Interested in learning more about first dates? Check out some of these articles on conversation and location.



Don't Know What to Say on a First Date? Let Someone Else Say It.

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