We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

eHarmony Reviewed: Does it Work? (The Key to Success)

eHarmony Reviewed: Does it Work? (The Key to Success)


The Dating Gurus review online dating sites for you, so you can spend your time and energy on creating a dyn-o-mite dating profile, and navigating the whole dating scene. We've presented the Complaint Department review of eHarmony, but to be fair, there are eHarmony fans who found that it works, if you can:

1. Focus on Long Term Relationships or Marriage

  • eHarmony was designed for marriage-minded people, or who are at least seeking a serious relationship.  This is not the dating site for you if you are hoping to date casually, or are looking to get lucky.
  • Deal with answering up to 400+ questions as honestly as possible. Eharmony matches algorithms between members' core traits and values which are designed to "replicate the traits of happy couples”.  Keep in mind that unlike other dating sites, you will not be able to peruse profiles or pictures.

2. Be Patient

Patience alert: Members report that it can take between one week to several weeks to begin receiving profiles of matching members.

  • Once you’ve found a potential match on eHarmony whom you are interested in contacting, the site leads you through a “guided communication” process. During this process you and your potential match send each other your answers to eHarmony’s pre-written questions, revealing your lists of Must Haves and Can’t Stands and getting advice from eHarmony’s founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, based on your personality profiles. Every step along the way is voluntary; you can drop out of communication at any time, and pursue communication with a different member.
    • Depending on your patience level and communication style, you have the option to skip the guided communication process and utilize “fast tracking” instead.
    • Be prepared for some frustration along the way, as many people are not full fledged members, or dropped off the site, and it is difficult to tell who is active.

    3. Take Advice

    Eharmony founder Neil Clark Warren, a Christian theologist, psychologist and author returned from retirement in July 2012 to revitalize the site, which has been lagging in growth. His vision included making a shift from identifiying itself as an online dating website to a more comprehensive "relationship" website. Eharmony now has many blog writers, so-called eHarmony experts who address issues of love, dating, and relationships. You don't need to be an eHarmony member to access this advice; a simple web search will bring you to eharmony blogs on any relationship subject. Read this success story from eHarmony's site.

    Want To Feel Safer?

    Eharmony is also good for people who are nervous about online dating safety. Besides not revealing pictures and other personal data right away, the site also features a tool called "Secure Call", which is basically a call anonymizer that a member accesses through the website, which auto-dials your potential mate by clicking a button to initiate the call, once both parties agree.

    Success Stories:

    Blogger Alana's success story with eHarmony, which ended in marriage to her husband Mike:

    I never tried any other dating sites, but I can't say enough good things about eHarmony. It is more expensive than other sites, but I think you get what you pay for. They make it very clear that the service is only for "marriage-minded" people, not those interested in just casual dating ( is good for that, but I'd stay away from the free sites). I really liked that they match you based on your values and personality. This doesn't necessarily mean that every match will be perfect for you or that you will have every little thing in common. It just means they will match you with men who share your outlook on life and basic personality type. Even with the matches I didn't end up with, I could tell that we had those "big things" in common. And with Mike, the chemistry and compatibility is unexplainable. Sometimes when we share a thought or find that our differences perfectly balance each other we stop and thank eHarmony (and God of course!) for bringing us together. *Registration


    eHarmony  isn't our preferred style of dating service, since, being somewhat superficial, we like to actually see photos and read profiles, rather than turning this over to a mysterious algorithmic god.  We don't prefer to have our process "guided", especially being held to an oft tedious process and pace. It's difficult to be creative, or show individuality on eHarmony.

    Be aware that there are many customer service complaints, as well as complaints that many members are inactive despite their profiles appearing in the member database.  Lastly, one of the most common complaints from members is that eHarmony doesn't seem to match them up to dates that they have anything in common with. Read this hysterical true story from blogger Single Steve and his miserable experience with eHarmony (may not be work-safe).

    Dating Guru's Grade: C

     Psst--Not Your Style?

     If you tend to like a more creative, free, and controllable online dating site, you may wish to consider OkCupid.

    If you don't mind paying (a reasonable) fee for service, and want to get offline and out in the real world quickly, consider HowAboutWe.


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