Dating Profile Re-write OKCUPID Female: Don't Be A Negative Nancy!
Lead with the Positive
Marnie, a youthful looking 51 year old nurse, who in person was actually quite full of spunky personality and compassion, was baffled about why she wasn't getting good results from her online dating profile, and about why the men she met online were not the kind of guys she had been hoping to meet.
After looking at her dating profile and photos, it was clear that Marnie, who had been working as an RN supervisor for many years, had what we call an Eeyore Profile.
Remember Eeyore? The pessimistic, martyred, but lovable donkey from Winnie the Pooh? That was Marnie.
Marnie had made the classic mistake of leading with the negative, instead of showcasing what she could bring to the table. Her initial profile complained about being tired of online dating, being alone, meeting strange and dishonest men, and admitting to feeling burnt-out in her career. In other words, her profile sounded defeated, tired, and kind of hopeless. Very different than the person who sat across from us.
TIP: Don't use your dating profile as a soapbox to complain about the opposite sex, or the weirdos on dating sites. Potential partners are reviewing your profile to see who you are and what you bring to the table.
The Profile Re-Do
We tweaked Marnie's OkCupid profile, painting a picture which highlighted her sense of humor, great ethics, and some of her interests. You'll notice that negativity has no place in a dating profile. We added colorful words and description to replace some blase terms.
Here is what Marnie's new reworked OkCupid profile looked like, using their format:
What I’m doing with my Life:
In between spelunking, swimming with the dolphins, and translating ancient scrolls in my spare time, I’ve been logging a lot of hours in my beloved profession lately with the goal of actually retiring someday while still being able to afford both protein and shoes! If you’re looking for me, you might also find me in a funky second-hand bookstore, or walking around town discovering hidden treasures.
I’m looking for a fantastic guy to share some of life’s adventures, and I am quite happy to work less when tempted properly.
My Self Summary:
I’m a born and bred native Seattle girl, who lived in Arizona long enough to realize I missed the changing seasons and the Pacific Northwest.
I find great satisfaction from the most ordinary things: a first cup of steaming coffee on the deck in the quiet early morning...good manners on the freeway...a brisk walk with the dog... and having great conversations in any setting. I’m easy going and try to remember to have a positive outlook whenever possible. And it’s almost always possible.
I feel fortunate every day...and nicely seasoned by life's experiences. I don't have wrinkles, though: I have laugh crinkles.
I'm Really Good At:
Finding humor in situations...Hanging in there when the going gets rough.
The First Things People Usually Notice About Me
I've been told that I have the perfect kind of curly hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:
Recently read books include Lonesome Dove and Water for Elephants. Any film Steve Martin is in. As much as I'm embarrassed to admit I’ve never made it inside of Benaroyal Hall for live theater, but would love a partner in crime to check it out with.
My next food adventure? Portland Food Trucks!
The six things I could never do without;
Strong, steamy java in the a.m., a beautiful view, jazz, seasons. my favorite pillow, anything with lemon. The smell of leather.
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
- If life had a soundtrack, what song would be playing right now?
- If I've done my best today
- What the rest of life’s adventures will bring
- How long do I have to wait to have Dim Sum again?
On a typical Friday night I am:
Catching up with friends or family, debriefing from the week--adult beverages often help...extra lemon please!
The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit:
This is too deeply repressed to access at this time..
You should message me if:
You are tired of talking to your pets. While it’s true that their love is unconditional, they may not be telling you the whole truth.
See how this profile rewrite focuses on the playful, confident, humble and unique aspects of Marnie? This dating profile received about 80% better results than the hum-drum original.