When looking at examples of stellar dating profiles, you also need to examine the bad ones. And here's a textbook version of one from a 46 year-old woman posting on OKCupid. What follows is the entire text of her profile; this has not been abridged:
I am an energetic, young 44 year old mother of 2. I enjoy outdoor activities, a night on the town or just snuggling on the couch. I have had enough of the single life and I am ready for a serious relationship.
Then OKCupid says, You Should Message Me If:
you are looking for a serious commited [sic] relationship!
By a quick count, I see about 51 words there. Most profiles have the opposite problem of possessing too many words. But 51 words? Even if you were a prize-winning poet, it's doubtful that you could squeeze enough meaning into 51 words to satisfy any male browsers.
Now, let's pick it apart:
1. "I enjoy outdoor activities"
Horseback riding and playing polo? Or camping? Or sailing? Be specific about what type of outdoor activities. It helps to further define your personality.
2. "...a night on the town or just snuggling on the couch."
Wow, this is just about the most cliched phrase we see in online dating profiles, next to "loves walks on the beach." Two problems here. First, it's cliched. Drop it. Second, it makes you appear to be undecided: "Well, I can go in any direction; I don't care." Flexibility is nice, but you do need to nudge things over in one direction or the other. Are you more the snuggly type or are you more the night clubby type?
3. "...have had enough of the single life..."
Something scary about this statement. It makes it sound that you've been trolling the sordid singles world for a long, long time now.
4. "...ready for a serious relationship..."
You say this twice in 51 words. Twice. Once is too many times. Why? Because you're not putting up a profile so that you can get married and have his children. You're putting up a profile so that you can be fun and meet a fun guy and have fun together. That's all. And maybe--just maybe--all of that fun will lead to something more serious. But you need to keep that part under your hat for the time being.
Want to know more, ladies? Learn great tips for writing an amazing dating profile.