For baby boomers and older daters of any age, if this is the first time you've considered online dating, look no further. The Dating Gurus are here to give you the pointers you need to make this brave new world a positive experience. First, consider what you're looking for. Are you hoping to meet someone to date, without getting too serious? Or perhaps you dream of meeting that special person to spend the rest of your life with. Would you consider re-marriage someday, or is that not in the cards for you? Would you relocate, if you fell for someone who lived a distance from you, or who had circumstances which precluded them from moving?
People register for online dating websites for many different reasons, ranging from casual dating to finding a new love of their life.
Take an active role. As an online dater, you have two choices-- you can peruse the listings on the site(s) you register on, and contact other members, or you can just wait to be contacted. Our expert advice is to take an active role in your dating life from the start. After you make a profile, take a look around the site you pick to familiarize yourself with the various functions. Then, send a message to someone who strikes your fancy!
Consider a phone call only after you have conversed through some written messages. Be wary of giving out too much information too soon, both on email and thru phone. Utilize these basic safety suggestions. When you do speak on the phone, you will get more of an idea of what this other person is like. Does he/she listen? Is it all about them? Are they trying to move too quickly for you? Do not be pressured into making a date before you are ready. TRUST YOUR INTUITION! If your interest is piqued, by all means, either ask the lucky person out, or feel free to accept an offer to meet for a first date.
The first date should include light conversation, and will offer you the opportunity to see if there is any attraction between you. You might be disappointed in the lack of face-to-face chemistry. This is completely normal, especially for daters new to online dating. We frequently hear that people build up their expectations before meeting in-person, since the excitement of messaging back and forth takes over.
You may also be disappointed as you discover that some people use older pictures or photos that don't' show everything. TIP: Always gently ask in your emails if the person's pictures are recent. And make sure yours are as well!
Speaking of appearances... Lets be realistic here. Most of us aren't spring chickens anymore. Hairlines may have receded, hourglass figures may be a bit flubby, and we might have some "laugh crinkles" on our previously smooth skin. Having expectations that our dating partners may look the way we remember dates looking many years ago is just not fair to anyone. There is a level of acceptance that has to happen, both with oneself, as well as for our potential dating partners. As an aside, consider the danger of becoming a serial dater, aka seeking perfection.
Who pays on the dates? Generally speaking, on the first date, it's an inexpensive coffee date, and you can either split the tab, or simply pay for both. Subsequent dates get a little more complicated, considering that both parties may have very different expectations about role expectations, chivalry, or independence. If your date reaches for the bill, it would be polite and considerate to ask if you can help with that. If they refuse, you can offer to get the tip. If you had a marvelous time, and it is clear that you will be going out again, you can graciously accept their offer to pay, and tell them that the next one is on you!