5 Types of Older Men You Meet on Online Dating Sites
If you're a woman in her 40s or 50s on an online dating site, you will encounter just about every type of older, or mature, man. Every man, that is, except the kind you actually like. Here are a few of those 45+ men you will discover:
1. The Grandpas
Even if they aren't actual grandfathers, they sure look and act like grandfathers. You know them even before you click on the profile. The tiny thumbnail image is bathed in grayness--gray hair, gray skin.
For them, Match.com is racy. Tinder and other social media-driven online dating sites are unheard of.
They still haven't quite grasped this notion of online privacy, often using full names as screen names or including home addresses, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses in their first message to you.
If you're ready to start portioning out daily pills and taking group tours to Reno, this guy is perfect for you.
2. The May-September Men
You're 47 years old; he's 50 years old. Similar interests, empty nest, both of you have good jobs, he's good-looking in that Viagra TV commercial way. Match made in heaven! Except for one thing...
You're too old for him.
Yes, in his post-divorce rush of self-confidence, he truly believes that those winsome, hot, tatted, pierced, goth Instagramming women in their twenties might be interested in him. Short of that, perhaps a MILF in her 30s?
May-September Men sometimes get over this fixation. But it takes enough time--and rejections--before they wise up.
3. The Overgrown Boys
Old age? That's for losers!
This is the battle cry for these 45+ year-old men who display their goofiness by wearing fuzzy bear hats with ears, face paint, and white douchebag Jersey Shore shades. These fun-loving boys have hit Puberty Numero Duo.
This guy's profile image gallery has captions like "bitchn time at the playa" because he hits Burning Man every year, and he has no shame about declaring his undying love for the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Springsteen.
So go ahead, "strap yourself 'cross his engines" if you want a whirlwind ride--back to adolescence.
4. The Men With Too Much Money and Time
Yup, ever since Greg sold his printing press business in Indiana in 2003, he's been sitting on a tidy sum of money. No, Greg isn't rich-rich. But he is Elkton, Indiana-rich.
He no longer has career ambition because he's either just-retired or close to it. More than anything, he wants to "get that boat out on the water and spend a few weeks around the islands."
He likes to travel to foreign countries (or so he says). After all, "Passport" is listed as one of his OK Cupid "The six things I could never do without." But domestic travel suits him more.
He's got a 42 foot RV. Wanna hop in? And that Harley: you'll be in Sturgis next year with him. First thing every May, you and he will be on the Lake Mead houseboat.
His biggest selling point isn't his looks ("Yup, been packin' on a few pounds lately. All that beer..."). Rather, it's the upper middle-class largesse he can send your way, the spoils of 32 years of keeping his nose to the daily grindstone.
5. The Dads-of-Young-Adult-Women
This particular class of mature men makes itself known from the get-go: their profile pictures feature two people.
At first you may wonder why this sugar daddy is so prominently showing off his sugar baby-ette. Hardly a prudent online dating practice, is it? Then you realize that the young woman is his daughter.
Why, of all the many pictures he has of himself alone, should he choose this one as his lead picture? This is beyond your comprehension. Even if he doesn't already have pictures of himself alone, there is thing called "the selfie."
Whatever the reason, this class of older online dating guys just loves to show off their 23 year-old daughters.