5 Tips: Inject New Life Into Your Stale Dating Profile
You know how you log into your dating sites and apps, to check out any fresh blood that may have popped up in the 27 minutes since the last time you peeked? And the frustration you feel when there's just the same ole, same ole? That's exactly what your counterparts are feeling when they see your sad, tired profile, the same one you proudly created...be honest...6 months ago?
If you aren't getting the kind of results you want from your dating sites, quit moaning about how dating sucks, and take charge of your dating life by jazzing up your profile. Most people don't realize just how pedestrian their profile is, and how all anybody really longs for is for that ultra-interesting or catchy pic, headline, or description to make them do a double take. Don't you want to be that person? Sure you do! So quit being so beige, and lets craft you a cool new dating profile.
1. Photo-Fantastic or Photo-Fail
Have you had the same old profile pic up for ages? Maybe that person who scrolled right past you a million times would do a double take if you threw in a brand new, recent pic. If you've been dating a while, with less than great results, consider the possibility that your pics, rather than your witty profile are raising causing a yawn-fest, or perhaps are raising a few eyebrows in disbelief. We love a smashup of profile photos that highlight your individuality, but some profile pics just baffle us. You could be trying for zany or sexy, but actually be conveying crazy or smutty.
2. Boring Typical Headline vs. Catchy, Intriguing Attention Grabber
Stop taking yourself so seriously. Really. People love to be entertained, so rather than trying to fit in the typical dating profile mold, have fun with it; wiggle it around a bit. Besides your dating photos, the tagline can be the first thing that your potential Mr./Ms Wonderful is going to see. Some dating apps no longer use headlines, but you can use funny or interesting quotes, lyrics, or one-liners to "open" with on your profile. Consider the difference between the following headlines:
"Must Love Dogs!" vs. "Not Perfect, But My Dog Thinks I'm Awesome!"
Look, having a dog does make you winner, in our eyes, and using that info in your tagline does indeed reveal something about you, but instead of making a demand right off the bat, consider inserting a bit of humor that makes the reader want to delve deeper. Check out our popular piece of The Best and Worst of Dating Profile Headlines.
3. Inject Your Profile With Instant Pizzazz
Consider an unusual quote, song lyric, or prose to open your first paragraph. How about letting Robert Fulghum (or Dr. Seuss, depending on whom you believe) insert a little whimsy?
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
This interesting tidbit gives your readers something to actually comment on, instead of reading the typical blah, blah, blah; "I enjoy the outdoors, traveling, and good coffee".
4. Details PLEASE!
Your goal in writing a striking dating profile is two-fold: to entice the reader and convince them that you have something to offer them that is unique from all of the competition out there, and to give them interesting information that they can follow up on with you. The best way to do this is to flush out the details and use descriptions. Check out the following examples:
Weak: My interests incIude cooking for friends and family, going to the beach, and taking ski lessons.
Strong: I've been cooking since i could reach the stove and have finally mastered my granny's Chicken and Dumpling's recipe. I'm more of a summer person than a winter person, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of Butternut's intermediate slope without falling by the end of this winter!
Weak: Fitness is important to me, and I work out several times a week. As much as I like to go to the gym, I also love reading and sleeping in on the weekends. I'm kinda quiet, but also like to have friends over for fun times.
Strong: I'm a creature of contradictions--an athletic, lazy, book nerd, who appreciates quiet, but can organize a killer party. My favorite sport of the moment is volleyball, but you might also find me exercising my elbows at the new brew pub in my neighborhood! IPA's to stouts; all good. Last author I read was Junot Diaz.
A good meaty or humorous description of yourself and your interests offers enough details to give your potential match something to grab on to. If someone simply says they like cooking, reading and going to the beach, that doesn't really tell you anything about the person, just about general likes and dislikes. Describe the types of books or authors you prefer, name your favorite beach or ski slope and add some color and personality to your profile. If writing isn't your thing, sketch out the basics and ask a friend who loves to write if they'd fine-tune your profile for you.
5. Stay Away From Negatives and Don't Be Crazy
Have you ever opened up a profile and been blown away by the storm of negativity that jumps off the page? First of all, your dating profile is the last place you should be moaning about the fact that you're on a dating site. First, see these examples of leading with the negative, followed by a positive approach to sharing your "less negotiables":
"Frankly, I'm a little frustrated with online dating sites. I don't understand why its so hard to meet a nice guy, or why men don't actually read my profile, and respond to an email even if not interested! Do not contact me if you are looking for a 1-night-stand, or if you are not employed and looking for someone to take care of you. No problem drinkers. I'm sorry, but need to put this out there."
"...I can't believe I'm on a dating site!! Looking to delete this entire online app, not interested in wasting my time or yours. Let's get real--in person is the only way. Also please do not copy and paste a message to me that you are recycling around to each person you match with-its completely transparent."
Instead, open with the positive, and be clear about what it is you want and appreciate in a partner. If you have non-negotiables, say so in a neutral way.
"Now for some important stuff: I'm a glass half-full kinda person, but also realistic enough to know that as beautiful as life is, it often throws you curve balls. Counting on finding a partner-in-crime who has the strength of character and resiliency to catch and hold those balls in the air, and maybe even smile while juggling. I've worked hard to de-drama my life, especially with my ex, and expect you've done the same. I'm not needy, and don't do well with needy peeps, but I do admit to needing romance, and appreciate those kind of gestures in kind. Don't need daily roses, but a bunch of wildflowers or a handwritten note do wonders to make my heart pitter-patter. I don't smoke cigarettes, and won't be able to kiss you if you do. While I love drinking wine and letting loose, I'm not currently accepting applications for problem drinkers or druggies. Lastly, my kids have flown the nest, and I'm likely not the best candidate for you if you still have wee ones at home."
Breathe some new life into that stale profile by refreshing your pics, adding creative details which invite interest and responses, and try leading with the positive.
"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.".