Like It Or Not, Your Online Dating Profile Is a Sales Pitch

Lucille Ball in The Fuller Brush Girl, 1950

We see this all too often.  You probably have, too.  We'll summarize it since we can't bring ourselves to write up a mock version of this, nor do you want to read such a thing.  For purposes of verisimilitude, let's just say it's an OK Cupid profile: The pictures of this person?  Great!  You're attracted!  Then you look at the text of the profile.  You scroll down.  And down another 22 inches until you finally reach the bottom of their profile.

Yammer, yammer, blah, blah.  That list of their favorite bands numbers no less than 75.

Rule:  Your Dating Profile Is Not a Journal.  It Is a Sales Pitch.

Hint:  Power Words Add a High-Octane Burst to Your Dating Profile

Wrong:  "I think it would be nice if I could find a woman who would like to go bowling with me."

This sentence is all wrong.  For one thing, the writer takes forever to get to the core of the sentence.  The core is:  a woman to go bowling with me.

But that's not the point.  The point is that the writer employs weak words and phrases:

• I think
• if
• would be
• could find

All of these are tentative, unsure.  Would?  Could?  You mean you're not sure if you want this?

Right:  "I want a great lady who'll enjoy bowling a few frames with me."

The strongest phrase you can use in your profile:  I want.  It's strong, direct, and economical.  We just used two words to replace nine flabby, weak words.